Find the one

What is 361 for Women? There are plenty of courses that show you how to do a complete 360 of your life. A complete review of all areas of your life – physical, emotional, spiritual and mental. There are 360 degrees in a circle and most of us exist in one circle or another. 
The weakness with this 360 idea for women in an abusive circle is that, yes, we know we are repeating behaviours with the same sort of men but simply knowing that and spotting the 360 degrees of the circle we are in isn’t enough. We are still stuck in the middle of it all. Just because we can see the circle clearly doesn’t mean we can always change it.
In addition, circles are safe. The 360 is known. The circle is known. Stepping outside the circle feels unsafe and safety is what we crave more than anything following repeated trauma. 

This is what frustrates health and social care professionals but as a survivor of emotional, sexual and financial abuse I understand this clearly. 
Why did I attract the same sort of men? Because they were in my 360 circle. Why did all my relationships work out the same way? Because I was simply spinning my circle like a hamster wheel. The only thing that was changing was the faces of the men I chose. And, yes, I chose them – they didn’t choose me

The 361 is different. Through the course, 360 gradually becomes 361. By finding the one (which is different for everyone), we can find out how to make that circle into a spiral. We are not circles, we are spirals. We can transform into an upward spiral which leads us out of abuse with our number 1 as our first step. The 361 is a positive recovery programme created from my own experiences as a teacher, mother, writer and survivor.


The first step is the most difficult. The first step out of the circle is frightening but – like the spiral contained within a fossil – if we keep walking out of it we find ourselves in new territory. Instead of looking for “the one” (which we may have done all of our lives in our circle of abuse) we start to be “the one”. We find that first step. 
By considering the whole circle first we can see how to step out of it. This transforms our life – but unlike some life coaching courses the credit for this goes to you. You do the 360 on your life. You see the patterns. You work out your first step to change that circle into a spiral. You find “the one”.

Alice Smith

The 361 is a positive recovery programme for women following losses of all kinds – not just abuse. More details at http://www.goddesse.co.uk or email Alice on 13goddesse@gmail.com. YouTube, podcast and IGTV coming October 9th 2019.

Published by 361one

when I write I am a king. Listen to more at 361 live podcast

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