Brave or stupid?

I’ve often been called brave and I hate it. I’ve often been called stupid – mostly by myself. Which am I? Which are you? Can we be both? After taking my show to India where the theme of rape was not well received, the tabloids went to town. One armchair critic stung me with this comment – ‘There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. In India, Alice crossed that line.’ Why did it sting me so much? Possibly because – like all criticism – there was an element of truth in it. I did start out brave and ended up feeling stupid. How can this be applied to loss?

If I had known this pic was going to go around the world online I would have brushed my hair

What is being brave? I hate the term because it casts us as victims. Someone has done something to us and – like children with wobbling lips – we have not cried. We have been stoic! How very British.


I don’t want to be brave. i want to have courage. The word courage derives from the French word for heart – coeur. Once you realise this, you can sort of make yourself feel a little bit stronger inside in the face of big challenges and big losses. (This also means that the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz was looking for courage not bravery. So really he was on the same mission as the Tin Man. He needed a heart.)

Found it

Is there a line between bravery and stupidity? Have you crossed it? When? How? And even – dare I ask – why? Back in 2016, I felt stung at this critical comment because I was in severe post trauma from an abusive marriage. I now see that I was neither brave or stupid performing by invitation in India. I was traumatised. And I was playing out my trauma for other people’s entertainment at a World Economic Forum. (I am not making this up. I wish I was.) If only someone had stopped me. They tried . But I was not listening.

I wish I had stopped me.

Stop! Nope.

Courage is connection

Did I lack courage? In one way yes because loss had disconnected me from my heart and mind. Abuse does that. Loss can if we are not careful. Abuse is tied to loss because if we stay in an abusive relationship for too long we begin to lose more and more – of ourselves. Of what matters to us. it affects our very identity, What makes you, you. Friends. Family. Connection. Self esteem. Money. Maybe even our children, our jobs (me 2015), our homes. (me 2016.) People began to call me brave at this point. What they really did was place me as a victim. I called myself stupid at this point. What I did was abuse myself. I needed help – but none came


The 361 recovery programme has been developed over the last 5 years from these real experiences post trauma. In PTSD we often experience loss after loss – mental health, job, home, family support, our identity. 361 can help after loss when you are feeling brave, stupid or both. Swinging from one to the other is common. 361 can help you to find clarity in your thinking. The truth is you are neither brave or stupid, survivor or victim.

You are simply human.

Human. Probably….

361 can help you make a clear 360 of your life and your best qualities. See them clearly without judgement. The programme helps you create a personal code to live by and guides you to choose your own labels (knowing that they will always be just that – labels.) We can thank people for the labels they give us – or reject them. Either way, we have the badge making machine. 361 helps you to find the one term that defines you. Find the one, The 361.

Alice Smith 2019

#recovery #divorce #death #bereavement #grief #wellness #wellbeing #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #women #domesticabuse #fortysomething #widowhood #midlife #menopause #writer #poet #pride #lgbt #sobriety #lifecoach #coach #spirituality #empowerment #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #recoveryjourney #brave #stupid #swing #labels #personalcode #victimshaming #trolls #india #entertainment #writer #performer #trauma #wizardofoz #courage #lion #lionheart #heart

Published by 361one

when I write I am a king. Listen to more at 361 live podcast

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