We read a lot about creating a sense of style. Although magazine covers scare me, I often walk past them, staring in fascination at those airbrushed, alien faces. Same rictus grins. Fake smiles. Fake advice. They are so far removed from real women that I go and look at them just as I go watch theatre. This is theatre. ‘Signature scent’ ‘Own your style’ ‘How to rock it’ ’50 is the new 40′ ‘Be the boss’ ‘Style it out’. These fake bible ‘advise’ us how to style our homes, our bodies, our faces and our hair. They ‘advise’ us how to spend money we don’t have on things we don’t need. They may well be aspirational – but only to those who value material wealth. Is style simply external?
As women over 40, we need to find our own personal code. Clue – it’s not in any magazine. This involves turning away from society’s obsession with our outsides. Our personal code is inner work. It is how we choose to spend our time. Our bottom lines. How we react to people in need. How and what we choose to share. Our bodies. Our big life choices. Should I stay single? How do I treat my cancer? How do I face rejection? Should I look after my elderly parent? Can I leave my children?
I don’t see any of this advice in magazines. Do you? This is because the subject is too real to be marketed. And magazines are sold purely to sell you things. The subjects that really matter to us and the decisions we must make are just too real for the advertisers. Do we really only exist to be sold to? Of course not. But magazines contain advice limited purely to the merchandise on offer from their sponsors.
361 recovery can help you to create your own personal code.
Write out your own personal code. Make a list of your values – or draw them. Scribble them. Dictate them your phone. Add to it throughout the week. What is your bottom line? How far will you compromise? Sex or study? Lipstick or charity donation? Holiday or homeless shelter help? What are you made of?
Find an alternative to those glossy magazines. Write your own code not dependent on looks or age. Find the one The 361.
Alice Smith 2020
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