3 years sober and i am prevented from posting a pretty picture by the large dose of reality that this day brings. I am incredibly proud and ashamed in equal measure. It’s a bittersweet day of light and dark. What I expected to feel like my birthday feels more like a weight because I feel the pain of the journey.
To celebrate this day also celebrates my failures and my limitations. 3 years is a hell of a lot of days and if I crave a drink several times a day then that is thousands of No’s wrapped up in a bow. I crave my best friend that lost me all my other friends.
After the 12 steps, what is 13? On this day. I see thousands more steps stretched out in front of me. Its a triumph and I will celebrate this focused, caring, better smelling me. But its not a new me. She was always there. And i believe we still carry the addict inside us too. The struggle is real. Keep on marching. Keep on struggling x
Alice Smith 2020
361 recovery programme for women. More at http://www.goddesse.co.uk
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