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361 Sober – first steps

What are the first steps of sobriety? For me, it’s all about emotional evolution. It’s possible we have emotional gaps from our drinking, our childhood and/or our schooldays. We may have to go back and learn, relearn or unlearn how to manage and express our feelings. When we get sober, it all seems so awkward. When we were drinking it was awkward – we just didn’t notice.

4 important first steps in sobriety – how are you doing?

  1. Self reflection – facing the mirror. This replaces switching off or numbing out.

2. Taking responsibility for every action. This replaces victim mode. ‘It wasn’t me.’ It was you.

3. The beginnings of accountability. This gets harder, the older you are as your actions affect more and more people. And some of them don’t forgive you.

4. Creating a daily practice. Think of this as maintenance for when it hots the fan later on.

3 things that can trip you up in these first steps.

  1. Believing our own lies. ‘He made me do it.’
  2. Missing out on ‘FUN.’ Was it really fun?
  3. 3am – clear flashes of self reflection are unbearable. Sobriety brings a steady spotlight on our self generated chaos. Over time, this becomes more bearable (mostly…)

Join us for 361 Sober an lgbt safe space online every Sunday 6 – 7.30pm where we follow the 361 Recovery programme and chat about a sober curious life. Sign up at

Alice Smith 2021 on 4 years sober

Published by 361one

when I write I am a king. Listen to more at 361 live podcast

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