‘Doing the work’ in sobriety doesn’t always improve our present but it does reframe our past. It builds a better future self (not slimmer, richer or with 10k followers no – more aligned to our core values.) Doing the work is futuring. It’s Beyond. Horizons arealways moving in sobriety. But instead of Boris moving the goalposts, we do.
Why do the work?
I do the work because I have realised that my behaviour has a huge impact on others both publically (hosting recovery programmes) and in my personal relationships. How about you?
You need have a clear idea of why you are sober stay sober.
Make no mistake – in your sobriety, people are watching you.
Why do the work if I lose friends? Shouldn’t they prefer the new me?
Not necessarily – if they are not doing the work. If addiction is all about the search for connections we can’t find because we destroy them with our flawedcbehaviour, then it stands to reason sobriety breaks some flawed connections. In others we choose to keep, we have to make ‘navigational fixes’ to redefine them sober.
In this way, sobriety is an electrician, rewiring your connections.
Why do we do the work?
Our sober behaviour is made up of 1000 choices every day which affect and impact others. This impact may not be as glaringly obvious as when we over drank, surrounded by self generated chaos. But instead of dwelling on how we affected others negatively (old versions of self) let’s start to really notice how our sober behaviour affects others positively. (Others may get sober, seek our advice, ‘level up’ in some way or simply stop drinking in front of us)
Find the one
Finally, we only need the one person to believe in us in early sobriety. If they believe in us before we get sober, this is even more powerful and rare. We don’t believe in ourselves! Who is your One? Others will come and go but you will never forget your first One. Now I challenge you to be that One for someone else. That’s futuring. That’s why we do the work.
361 activity – Write down what doing the work means to you and why you do it.
Alice is bringing 361 Sober to UK cities this summer with 361 Life Support. Find out more or join 361 Sober online Sunday evenings – an LGBT safe space for sober and sober curious people of all genders. Sign up at 361lifesupport.co.uk
Alice Smith 2021