Part 7 of Alice Smith’s series ‘Connecting to the mother keyboard is trigger happy.
I am my gun and I want to fire it.
I am my gun and I want you to fire it.
In the right circumstances this could be fun.
My aim is high high high.
Your aim is low low low.
That’s my gun.
That’s my gun right there.
I’m pointing it at me not you.
I don’t want to dodge the bullet.
I’m mother fucking crazy sane.
You can hold it if you like but
I like to hold it.
And fire.
I’m smoking hot when it’s smoking and this is not russian roulette so there’s no need to pray to no god.
That’s my gun.
That’s my gun right there.
Concealed in the packet that’s prescribed for me.
The doctor hands it to me and the chemist colludes. The nurses fire it at me like sexy barstaff. Another shot. Bang bang. You feel alive. Another shot. Bang bang. Who are you again?Another shot. Bang bang. Who am I again? Bang bang you’re dead.
All Jesus and flashing lights,
Rushing through the tunnel of love. I’ve been here before.Lie still….Lying……. still I reach for my gun.
Place it on my bedside table.
Never sleep alone with you there with me.
Clean teeth. Check. Clean pants.Check. Bottle. Check. Pills.Check. Door open. Check. Counting sheep……counting guns….
The box is my gun.
The bottle is my gun.
The remote is my gun.
You are my gun.
He is my gun.
I am my gun.
Alice Smith is writing a series of blogs from the hospital bed called ‘Connecting to the mother keyboard.’
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