Get lost in Wonderland. Get lost in long grass so green against the blue sky and listen as it grows. Get lost in the cold cold sea through the waves to the rocks , every wave so different from the last. Get lost in the miles of sand, the dunes full of prickly excitement and the dead ends of promise that pull dogs up short. Nothing to see here. False scents. Get lost in the fires that burn in the dark in the forest where no one with a home ever goes and torchlight plays in the trees to welcome strangers to their temporary spaces. Get lost in who you are when you are free to roam over mountains, across clifftops,though fields and into caves and forests searching for something you always had inside. Get lost in thought and wonder that you could be worthy enough to touch the rocks with your bare hands and feet and not be too old to hide indoors with darkened eyes waiting for visitors who never come. Get lost in Time, where nature beats the dark every time with its sunrise and sunset and only electric light creates an illusion of balance. Get lost in the air above you, watching clouds and seagulls chase the opposing winds for different reasons. Get lost with good intentions or with bad ones. Either way you are sure to find curiosity around the corner leading you past butterflies who flap their wings for the last time and fall dead at your feet and fireflies who fight the darkness with their temporary light. Get lost in the forest where cool relief can soon turn to blind panic if you are chased by dark rooted chance.
Get lost in failure and wear your crown of failure like you own it because maybe you do – maybe you earnt that much. Who can say how heavy it really is to carry on, carrying it?
Get lost with your memories – all illusions, blurry vague sprouting up like poppies in summer then trailing petals too soon. Look for the seeds of hope of new memories of the Truth although you will never find it, searching for it is never a waste. Get lost in the sweet green night that’s never still because the tide must crash and turn and draw back just as we must breathe in its rhythm. Get lost in ancient ruins, crumbling walls that stand to bear new life and look like you feel inside. Get lost in birdsong when the wind dies down and the sea is gentle calm, it’s the only sound around here and it carries upwards and sideways touching the beat of your heart even as you weep. Get lost in the colours of Spring , purple flowers sprouting from the earth and tourists dressed up to sit and watch the sea in their best frocks as if it were tv. Get lost in Monday mornings when all the world seems to work but you – you own everything, stepping to your own rhythm and smiling at the sun.
Never stop getting lost.
Alice is a survivor, 5 and a half years sober and a Lost Girl.